I've come to a point in my life where I dont care about anything anymore. I dropped my phone in the shithole (literally) last week and I just like : why am I gonna do without all the music? I mean like the old me would be like all crazy and probably crying in the toilet thinking how can I get in contact with people. But right now I just dont give fuck anymore. the only person who contact me daily right now is just my mother and thats just because shes stuck with me for the rest of my life. during weekend, if I didnt go home, I just stay in my room and do nothing and just sleep. whats the point of my life here?

Parents should stop telling lies to their children. There should be a class for soon-to-be-parent that teach them how to handle their childrens mental wellness rather than showing them how to change diapers and how to breath. Don’t tell your children that they can be happy by having fancy jobs and sportcars. But teach them to be greatful with what they have. Don’t tell your children that they can make you happy by having excellent grades. But compliment them when they manage to keep their room clean for the whole week. Don’t tell your children not to do drugs and booze yet you the one who spent saturday night getting hungover in front of the tv. Don’t tell your children to ‘do what you say, not what you do’ because thats just simply daft. You are the role model for children. 

In order to move on, you have to let go of your past. Its not gonna  be easy, but its just something that you have to do. Do it slowly, one step at a time. You can start the first step by deleting all the old memory (e.g. photos, video, text messages) in your electronic devices. Or if there are printed photos, burn them. It will satisfy you more. Trust me. 

Its suprisingly easy to make friends. I just figured it out in the last two months. I probably makes more friends here than i ever made in a year in highschool. The world is yet a wonderful place just to live by your own.

A year passed by, i never thought that my life would have a dramatic change in just a year. Yes i do get to set my feet in the architecture world but its not as easy as i thought it will be. passion alone is not enough. need to develop skills and other shits as well if i want to excel. My body is weaker than ever.  last year (before i get into sri iskandar) ive been diagnosed with scoliosys which explain alot about my really slow movement and reactions. And on last midsem break, while in my hometown, mom decided to take me to the doctor and see what the hell is wrong with my blood and ive been diagnosed with anemia. So yeah 2104 is not the highlight of my damn life but atleast i have some priceless memories of it. Anyhow im still breathing so its not so bad after all. Semester break will be in another two months and i probably gonna have a minor operation or something. I dont know yet. Let just see how thing goes after this. I do broke up with him and its probably for the best. I realized now that he just need me when hes bored. As usual im the one whos stupid enough to fall head over heel. Oh well, good old me never learn her lesson right? anyhow he belong in the past now and i should probably leave him there for good. 

Got some cool people around me. Shed six fucking kilograms and finally i feel like i can control my life and everything run smoothly just like i want it. Who cares if i dont have enough sleep. In ten years i probably wont even remember it. need to sacrifice some in order to archieve the life i want for my future.

My life is not going through the path that i dreamed, but its definitely leading somewhere. Lets just see how thing goes. Cheers.

Skinny Love.

"But I found a boy that I love more than I ever did to you before. So stand beside the river I cried and let yourself down." 

Please, just let me be happy. just for the time being. Give me a chance to taste the sweetness of a relationship and I won't ask any other thing from you. Just let me be happy and stop appearing in my mind.

Akan tiba suatu hari dimana dia akan tersenyum mesra dengan semua orang yang sinis menghakimi impian dia untuk menjadi seorang yang gembira dalam keputusannya.
Apabila semua orang sibuk mengejar so-called-kejayaan-rumah-besar-banyak-duit-bahagia dan menjadi seorang doktor, jurutera, arkitek, angkasawan, ahli farmasi (etc.) dia akan masih disini tersenyum memerhati di sebalik rak buku dan secangkir kopi. Walaupun dia masih kabur dengan tempatnya dalam dunia ini di masa akan datang, dia percaya Tuhan telah mengatur kehidupannya dengan sempurna dan dia akan memerimanya dengan hati terbuka.
Ketawalah sepuas hati. Teruskanlah bercakap di belakangnya. Akan tiba satu hari dia akan toleh ke belakang dan melontarkan senyuman mesra dan terus berdansa riang.

Oh, semoga berjaya menjadi doktor, jurutera, arkitek, angkasawan, ahli farmasi (etc.)